Why the Government Should Pay Us to Open Bars

(Because the Treasury’s best investment comes with a head on it)

If the government had an ounce of imagination — or a calculator that worked — it would pay us to open more bars. Yes, really. Give me £300,000 to open a venue that takes £1 million a year, makes 10 % profit, employs twenty people and keeps the lights on, and the Treasury would claw it back faster than a barman snatching a counterfeit twenty.

Start with the basics: VAT at 20 %. That’s around £166,000 in the pot before anyone’s even ordered dessert. Add National Insurance and PAYE, which skim another £50,000 or so off the wages bill. Then there’s corporation tax at 25 % on profits — another £25,000 gone before you can say “fiscal drag.” And don’t forget the duty on beer, wine, and spirits, that cheery little surcharge added to every round. Between pint pulls, bottle pops and gin pours, the Treasury pockets thousands more each month, all while claiming it’s “encouraging moderation.”

Add it up, and the government would make back its £300,000 “investment” in barely 15 months. After that, it’s pure profit for them — tax revenue on tap. Show me another sector that could deliver a faster return with better lighting and a livelier soundtrack.

And the benefits don’t stop there. Every new job we create means wages that stay local. Our bartenders and chefs pay rent, buy groceries, fill up their cars, and spend their earnings in the same towns where they work. A bar isn’t just a business — it’s a miniature economy in motion.

Meanwhile, the powers-that-be talk about “reviving the high street” and “stimulating growth” while hiking NI, keeping VAT punitive, and slapping duty on every drop we pour. You couldn’t make it up. We’re the ones creating jobs, generating tax, and giving people somewhere to gather, and yet policy treats us like a guilty pleasure the country can’t admit to enjoying.

If Westminster truly understood return on investment, it would see hospitality for what it is: a tax-generating, job-creating, community-gluing powerhouse. For every pint poured, there’s revenue raised. For every table booked, a payslip issued. For every venue opened, a local economy revived.

So yes, the government should pay us to open bars. Because for once, “public spending” could come with atmosphere, good company, and a profit margin you can actually taste.